Insecurities of a Demi-God part 2/4
I hear success is like suicide
I’d be grateful to put it through my dome, just to open one up
Tragic that my soul is the price of admission,
But the show goes on.
Break a leg & sacrifice a lung,
To eventually give your arms to the gold they bestowed you with,
Reconstruct yourself & bless evolution with your personal “amen”; return home as the inner saviour that you were hidden to be.
Search & destroy, the orders transmitted from head to head
There’s nothing tender about this,
Tenderness reserved for the sandwich I’m expecting as a prize for this abuse; in all the right contexts.
I’m the king of all the wrong moments
It’s never “I love you”
More like “I own this”
Misogyny, the Purple Heart of honour to my generation,
Salute the leaders of our struggle,
Listen to songs about bitches so we can never identify the women,
Eliminate second chances with our soul mates because affection has been forbidden;
I didn’t make the rules, I just abide by them obediently,
I don’t pretend to understand them, I just want to remain scarless.
I’ve got 99 problems & you looking in my eyes is one,
I turn you around so there’s feelings; but my chest’ll stay numb.
You’ve got 21 question & I’ll answer none,
I’ll hide behind bravado just like my father had done.
I’ve never had the talk every young man needs,
So my interpretation of the birds & the bees is getting my dick sucked behind trees.
It’s dark they won’t notice.
They aren’t looking, bitch focus.
Don’t make it more than it is,
This is an reactment,
The allure of how I knew all the right buttons, keeps you here, when I’m not.
I must be special,
But I’m not.
The key to your heart was computer savvy,
A discreet account & an appealing avi.
I have each illusion on standby
Welcome to the greatest show on earth,
We have pizzas & make shift balloons that’ll provide you pleasure even when it hurts.
I want it to hurt.
That’s how I’ll know that you’re cumming hard, right?
Say something crazy, because that’s how I’ll know that I’m fucking right, right?
It must be something in the system,
There was nothing in your drink,
I just lied right,
& learnt wrong.
I’ve got the persistence of a battery life,
An upgrade will cost you,
Do you have time to spare?
About a year?
Because the password had to be altered?
Tell him to thank me when it’s all unblocked,
There’s a part of me that’ll remain locked,
The key was lost with an connection,
& with a disconnect there’s digression,
A forgotten liaison is how you’re stored & I haven’t got the heart to brush up on my history.
Less of a moment,
More of a category.
You were so pretty in pink; so find your Ducky & shake me off.
You never told me of the birds & the bees,
I deciphered it as not being stung once you leave.
Venus a fly trap which is why I refuse to hover for too long,
It’s the rules I’ve been taught,
I won’t rewrite them though it’s wrong.
Afraid to be in the presence of a goddess,
How I’ll love you isn’t love,
& I’m afraid to be this honest.
Afraid to learn the lesson of the birds & the bees,
In my mind I’ve stolen your flower,
But what happens when I can’t turn off the screen & leave?
'XVideos' Written by Oladeji Odumosu
- outfit game: on point
- mental health game: ?????